


==> Dave, take to science

by FrogFacey



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, also my love of writing rambles, behold my very specific troll horn headcanons, guess who started reading homestuck again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 05:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15550356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrogFacey/pseuds/FrogFacey
Summary: Karkat made a short sound that was almost like purring, but it dissolved into a growl almost as soon as it escaped his throat. It wasn't an aggressive growl at all, more like a warning. 'sausage fingers out of the hair’ it seemed to say.…Okay…Not the reaction he expected. Less porking with the roast and more tickles with the pickles.





	==> Dave, take to science

On a meteor full of trolls, Dave was glad that there was at least some universal similarities.

Thank god for Will Smith.

Karkat was adamant that they watch the troll adaptation, the one about threshcullinators or whatever the fuck. But Dave’s ass was firmly planted in the 'no gore on the first date unless you're both creepy goths’ zone and Rose was already covered on that front.

Most of that was bullshit anyway, this was in no way their first date and Dave scared away his almost girlfriend back on earth by sitting them down to watch Event Horizon on his shitty VCR the first time they ever did anything. Looking back on it, he was pretty sure she was the only one who thought they were a thing.

And anyway, gore was more ingrained in Troll society. Karkat recounted with great detail every single stabbing, gouging, breaking and punching in even the most tamest of troll movies. Hell some dude was stabbed in the romcom they watched last week.

There was probably a reason behind it but Dave couldn't understand Alternian and Karkat didn't remember that until halfway through.

Karkat made a happy sort of humming noise from under Dave's chin.

Oh right, boyfriend cuddle time.

Karkat was curled against Dave's side, currently nuzzling his way into Dave's chest.

He was making a sort of clicking noise, like a cricket but lower and less annoying. It was definitely alien but it was almost endearing in a way.

Dave curled his fingers into Karkat’s wiry, scratchy mess of hair. He'd seen someone do that once in a movie and judging from the fact that most of Karkat's advances came from troll romances he was pretty sure he would appreciate it.

His chirping increased in volume very slightly, he was fairly certain that was a good sign.

Karkat leaned very slightly into his touch, pushing against his hand. In any other case he’d be worried he was pushing him away, but he angled his head in just the right way to almost subtlety shove his hand further towards his forehead.

Oh okay.

Dave was glad that Karkat's horns were so small and nubby, everyone else's kind of freaked him out. They didn't quite jutt out from the forehead, but the transition wasn't seamless.

They sat only a little ways above the eyebrow, the skin around them sort of squished out of the way. It was more noticeable on trolls with thicker horns but thankfully Karkat's were short and blunt.

Dave wondered if it had something to do with his mutation. He’d ask but that sounded kind of douchey and he wasn't sure if they'd reached the point in which they could talk about shit like that yet. If he did he could just mention his frequent migraines and have them both explaining shit.

He wondered if he should test the waters first. Toe, foot or just dive headfirst straight into the deep end.

Fuck it.

He brushed past Karkat's horns, fingers gently rubbing at the base.

Karkat's noises didn't exactly change pitch but he could feel the rumbling clearer through his chest.

Cool so that felt good. He balanced his metaphorical boat, found his grip and got a little more comfortable. 

Karkat's weird purr/chirps grew louder and he snuggled a little closer. If Dave were to guess and put the feeling into human words he’d probably compare it to a really good cuddle. Which was great because that was exactly what that poor fuck needed.

“You feeling relaxed as fuck down there?” He asked, now completely ignoring what The Fresh Prince was saying.

Karkat hummed over whatever the fuck noise he was making.

So if he were able to talk over the chirping then it obviously wasn't coming from his troll voicebox. Well shit, let's not think about that one.

Instead Dave thought about how Karkat was also ignoring Will Smith in favour of closing his eyes and leaning into his touch.

At this rate he’d be asleep in ten minutes which, great because he didn't get enough of it but also fuck because he wouldn't be able to sleep later.

That thought was torn right out of his head when Karkat leaned up and nuzzled his face right under his chin.

Okay fuck that noise, he needed more of that.

Dave brought his other hand (which was sitting, useless picking at the hem of his shirt) around Karkat to run his thumb gently across where his shoulder met his neck. Karkat made a noise that sounded like the one cats make when you bug them while they're zoning.

He’d found out he liked that a while ago when they were watching one of his troll movies, he completely powered off as soon as his fingertips brushed his skin.

Bang bang. Karkat loosened and went from curled up to being draped across him.

Score one for Strider.

His purrs slowly tapered and evened out quietly as he drifted to sleep. He'd probably be awake in an hour or so jolted by some nightmare but for now he looked uncharacteristically peaceful.

It was nice.

Dave reached for the remote with his foot, dragging it over and muting the tv.

He fiddled for a second before managing to turn the subtitles on.

They were in Alternian.

You know what? Close enough.

Better excuse to hunker down and snooze with his boyfriend anyway.

 

-

 

“Shit fuck god fucking-”

Dave put down his controller and turned his attention to the general direction of the troll kitchen.

“Holy shitslputtering fuck-Dave!” Karkat called, obviously disgruntled.

Dave unfolded his legs and stood up, he left his controller on the couch and made his way to the doorway.

“You okay Babe?” He asked, leaning against the door frame.

Karkat was standing in the middle of the kitchen, something that looked like it could have been food if had not been burned alive was sitting in the frying pan and he had his hand clutched to his chest.

“No,” He grumbled “I tried to make shit but surprise surprise I skipped right past burned and fucking destroyed it.” He punctuated everything with an occasional angry almost fist shake. It was kind of awkward with both of them held against him.

Dave opened his mouth but Karkat was still talking.

“And then I couldn't get it off the bottom of the fucking pan and I was going to snap the egg flip-”

Jesus Christ was that actually the technical name?

“and then I had the best fucking idea.”

He gestured towards the knife abandoned on the sink 

“And of course I thought 'wow obviously nothing will go wrong here this is the safest and most logical way to go about this’ and then I fucking stabbed myself and now I'm bleeding everywhere and I’m staining everything and fuck.”

Dave watched a single red droplet fall from his hand and patter onto the tiles below.

“Little slower than mach 5 there please.” He said, still staring at the blood on the floor.

Karkat sighed dramatically “I’m bleeding and in pain and I burned our lunch.”

Cool. Dave took a moment to translate everything and rearrange wherever his train of thought was.

“Our?” He asked, grinning just a little.

Karkat huffed and thrust his hand towards Dave, “More pressing matters.”

“Right.” Oh yeah.

Dave searched around in his pockets, he’d taken to keeping band-aids with him for moments like this.

Also Terezi sometimes clipped her shoulder on corners and while it never broke the skin she enjoyed the band-aids.

He pulled Karkat's hand towards him, prepared for a small cut and some embarrassing denial of crocodile tears.

Oh ew. The knife had gotten him in the webbing between his thumb and forefinger, just below his knuckle. It was actually surprisingly deep and bleeding all over him. Though that was to be expected.

From Dave's experience troll blood wasn't quite the same consistency as human blood and behaved just a little differently. He was pretty sure there were some sick medical terms to explain it but all that came to mind was mixed ice cream.

It wasn't thick exactly but it dried slower and wasn't quite as liquidy.

He unwrapped the band-aid with his teeth (+ one hunk points for Strider) and tried to make a clean spot around it so it wouldn't be as gross.

He was glad that his cape didn't shed fuzz like it looked like it would. Otherwise he’d be a disgrace to the medical community and have a Vantas full of cotton fibers.

Ooh what a fun thought.

He finished patching Karkat up and wiped his hands off on his pants. They'd magically clean themselves off at some point. They had a habit of doing that.

“All done.” He smiled, kissing it better “Sexy nurse Dave has saved the day once again.”

He was given an eyeroll and a shove from Karkat.

“Are you saying you wouldn't want to see me dressed up in a skimpy nurse costume Karks?” He pressed a hand to his chest “You insult me.”

“I'm saying I’m still covered in blood.” He gestured towards his upper half, the red mixed in with his black sweater and didn't really show up all that well.

“Good thing I have an unused Nurse costume.” Dave waggled his eyebrows and Karkat groaned.

He figured he’d had a enough of teasing him, “C'mon let's go find something. You can wear one of my shirts if you want.”

Forward march! As he walked past he took the opportunity to ruffle Karkat's hair, catching his horns in the process.

Karkat made a short sound that was almost like purring, but it dissolved into a growl almost as soon as it escaped his throat. It wasn't an aggressive growl at all, more like a warning. 'sausage fingers out of the hair’ it seemed to say.

…Okay…Not the reaction he expected. Less porking with the roast and more tickles with the pickles.

Dave made a face and tried it again, Karkat grabbed his wrist and dug his claws very lightly into his skin.

“That's not what you said last night.” Smooth work Strider.

“Not the same circumstances.” He jabbed Dave’s ribs to prove his point.

Dave recoiled dramatically and screwed his face up in thought. 

…Oh right.

His sides were sensitive. He didn't feel anything right now because nothing of interest was happening. The same must go for trolls right?

“So this isn't doing anything for you.” He asked, rubbing Karkat's horns in thought.

Karkat’s growls grew a little more threatening and he wriggled his head out of Dave's grip “No it just feels weird.”

“Your face feels weird.” Dave got the impression that if they were going to keep doing this it would end up with a grumpy Karkat covered in dried blood and the faint scent of badly burned food.

He started walking towards his room, Karkat followed behind and mumbled something like “Your bulge feels weird.”

Dave resisted the urge to spurt a sickeningly devastating comeback and instead pressed the button that made the door open.

“Which of my fine array of shirts would you like the pleasure of wearing?” He asked, gesturing towards the pile of shirts Karkat had made.

He had found pretty early that trolls had a weird, internally wired need to make piles. When presented with the range of sweet ironic tee’s Dave had made Karkat had grumbled and asked “How do you even find anything like this?” And had sorted everything into an easily accessible lump.

“I don't mind as long as it isn't latex, low cut and seriously pushing the health and safety laws of the medical world.” Karkat furrowed his eyebrows at him.

Next item on the alchemising list:  
Sexy nurse costume.

Make Karkat wear it.

Instant nut.

Dave sat down and started digging. Neon 90’s Doritos tee, sick ironic Christmas tee, bootleg Simpsons merch.

He settled with his old record shirt, the unbroken one.

He had remade out of impulse it a while ago in a bout of homesickness. Rose said it would be a little more pleasant if he’d gotten the one he had before this whole shitstorm started, he agreed but it made him feel kind of weird seeing it.

Anyway if he gave it to Karkat he probably wasn’t going to get it back.

Karkat took at and stared at it, then to Dave then back to it. He shrugged and-

Wow shit he was just taking his shirt off then and there wow okay.

Dave watched as Karkat slipped his shirt on. It was too long on him pooled around his thighs when he settled back down on the floor but it was almost cute in a way.

He grinned and ruffled Karkat’s hair again. He rolled his eyes but chirped happily at the attention.

Dave decided that he liked that noise and leaned closer.

Karkat got the memo, grabbed his shirt and pulled him against his lips.

 

-

 

Karkat was wearing Dave's shirt again. 

Though he didn’t really pay attention to that as his focus was more on making sure Karkat didn’t puncture his lip with his teeth.

He knew if that happened then he’d freak out just a little bit and Karkat would spend the next 20 minutes apologizing and rambling about ‘oh my god I’m so sorry I know that makes you uneasy.’

He felt a hand sneak round to the back of his hip, probably with the full intention of grabbing his ass at some point and then feigning innocence seconds after. Dave’s chuckle was muffled by Karkat’s ever present lips as he pulled himself closer.

Karkat's trills evened out into high, almost piercing warbles. Dave could feel the rattling against his lips, his mouth was probably going to go numb at some point but right now he didn't care.

Karkat pulled away to breathe, his purrs sounding a little quieter now that they weren't rumbling right between Dave's ears. He pushed against his shoulders, tilting them downwards gently.

Ow shit.

Dave was reminded why making out on the couch was a bad idea.

He twisted his arm behind his back, digging around for whatever was stabbing him without having to sit up and disturb the Vantas on his lap.

Karkat made a new noise, one Dave hadn't heard before. He chirped confusedly and furrowed his eyebrows a little.

Oh.

Holy fucking shit Dave was done for, he was going to die right there on the couch with half a boner because of this fucker. This fucker and his adorable god damn noises.

He finally found what he was looking for and pulled his arm back. Tucked under the pillow was a half crushed box of crayons. White and purple dust was everywhere, probably all over his back too. Dave couldn't bring himself to care about that because there was currently a Karkat purring softly perched on his lap.

He chucked it to the side, he heard one of them snap but it didn't really mean much. He grabbed Karkat by the front of his shirt and pulled him back down, wrapping his arms around his neck.

He brushed his tongue against his teeth, they weren't as sharp as the other trolls but they could do some damage if he really wanted. Karkat made a quite squeal-ish sound and Dave laughed.

One of Dave's hands sneaked up to the back of Karkat's head, dragging his fingers through his hair. Karkat's fists tightened against his shoulders.

He grabbed a handful and pulled, just slightly. Karkat’s back arched into the touch and his purrs stuttered for a moment.

He scratched a little higher and Karkat stiffened, Dave would have been worried if it weren’t for the excited trills.

“Hey babe.” Dave grinned and he knew, he fucking knew and he shuddered in anticipation.

Dave brushed his fingers against his horns, against where skin met keratin and Karkat inhaled sharply.

Dave moved his fingers a little more firmly and Karkat’s warbles undid into deep purring. His claws dug into his shoulders, not breaking the skin yet but getting pretty fucking close.

Dave reached up and joined in with his other hand. Karkat bit his lip harshley, a small whine escaping his throat.

“Holy shit.” he grinned wide, leaning up to press a kiss against the hornbed.

“Dave I swear to god if you’re just going to sit there making oggle eyes I’m going toaaAAH.” Karkat’s mouth fell open as Dave licked up the horn, blowing cool air against it to seal the deal.

His head tilted back and Dave got to see every single fang. Troll teeth fascinated him, they seemed pretty straight forward from the front but seeing how they fit into the gums from a bottom view was a whole different story entirely.

Oh shit.

Idea.

Dave moved his mouth away from Karkat’s horns and instead dragged his focus to Karkat’s neck.

If troll teeth were meant for ripping meat, there was probably no real way to give hickies right? Which meant that Karkat had probably never felt the sweet, sweet sensation of having someone hoover at your neck.

And considering how he reacted when dave brushed past lightly, his neck was probably amazingly sensitive.

He started out with gentle kisses, to test the waters.

Karkat gasped, sucking in a small squeak before it could escape fully.

Good sign. Dave found a place under his ear that made him chirp loudly and, with much more confidant horn rubbing, sunk his teeth in.

Karkat made a noise that sounded much like a vhs getting stuck (vrrrrrchlunk chnk chnk chnk) as his eyes rolled back. His purrs changed, another higher, wavering layer on top of basey rumbles.

Holy fuck. Dave Strider had struck gold, shouted eureka and went a’plundering with full pickaxe and beard. The whole package, the two for one deal.

He needed more of that, he needed so much more of that. Especially when it was coupled with gentle, only half thought out grinding on Karkat’s behalf.

Dave’s movements faltered when Karkat rolled against him just a little harder, he grinned through an already blissed out expression.

But Dave still had the upper hand.

He peppered small kisses and nibbles down until he reached the crook of his neck, where he knew he liked. This time he opened his mouth and licked and Karkat let out a long, broken whine. 

“Dave,” he stuttered through walls of purring and almost human cries “Dave I-nngh.”

He dug his teeth into the skin there, sucking. It made frankly, quite gross noises but both of them were so past caring. Karkat opened his mouth wide and full on moaned, scrunching his eyes closed and clawing at Dave’s arms. If his shirt tore, he didn’t notice.

“Not here.” He managed, pulling away only just to breathe and collect his thoughts, “My respiteblock, yours. Whatever just-”

Dave was picking up what he was putting down, he was collecting the notes, he was assessing the situation, he was getting at what he was getting at, grabbing at them subtle messages.

And oh, he was so down.

**Author's Note:**

> 413 hits yall
> 
> Edit: 420 hits yall  
> blayze it
> 
> Edit: 69 kudos boiiisss


End file.
